Best dating script

(Beat.) Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to do that, than to broadcast it on the Internet. It would be safe to say that these girls are definitely on the "B List" at their school.

So, here it is -- Part One: The Shudder-Inducing and Cliched, However Totally False Account Of How I Lost My Virginity To A Guy At A Community College In A Neighboring Town.

OLIVE'S BEDROOM - PRESENT DAY Olive continues to narrate into her webcam. I don't know if any of you have ever met them, but Rhiannon's parents are quite possibly the creepiest people in a four county radius. ABERNATHY has hair to her ankles and dresses like a Mormon.

(Although the man we're looking at has an even more frightening smile.) MRS. O.) I've always felt sort of sorry for Rhiannon, but not enough to do what she was asking me to do. RHIANNON'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS Rhiannon is on the phone, agitated.

Charlize Theron played that butt-fucking-ugly lesbo serial killer.

He goes to the community college with my brother in Denton.

You had better fucking marry him, have fucking babies with him and then take him for fucking everything he's worth. RHIANNON (With her mouth full) You're not off the hook, you know. This had better be the best date of your life to counterbalance the worst weekend of mine.

You're a lying bitch and I hate you so much right now. There is an excruciatingly long and painful silence.

I really would love to go camping with your family this weekend. The couple stare at the fire with the same creepy smile plastered on their faces.

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